someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
