yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
