Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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