Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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