Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
