Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
