There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
