Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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