some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
