wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How does one acquire holy water?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
