My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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