Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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