She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
