I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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