But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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