You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
