i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
