those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
