As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
