I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
