Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I will be naked everywhere
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
