so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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