he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
as a side note pls kill me
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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