I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
