Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
