Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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