I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
