took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
