I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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