even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
