piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
