Screwed.edu
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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