the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Randomize
