I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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