They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
