Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
