He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
