she was so not down for the gang bang
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
