it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
