The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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