Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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