I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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