Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
