I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
