I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
