So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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