Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
