first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Fuck appropriateness.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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