I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
