I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
